Cettie

The Adventures of a Mystery Shopper

I never realized a lady of mature years could run quite so fast.  I and the other post office customers in line watched her rapid exit from the lobby. Interesting how she seemed to rely heavily upon her cane while in line but suddenly become inspired to grab it up like a baton and flee into the parking lot.

What caused this quick exit from the post office?

I had been waiting in line while on a post office shop. It felt like it was taking forever. Nine people in line ahead of me in this small postal branch with only two windows—and only one of them staffed. Sighing deeply, I noted that twenty minutes had elapsed and I hadn’t moved ahead more than a foot or two.

“This is going to be an interesting report” I thought to myself, “they usually have a fit and try not to pay you if you’re in line over five minutes.”

Soon the cause of the delay became apparent as an elderly woman in her mid-80’s made her way down the line handing out religious tracts and attempting to convert each person in line as well as the postal clerk, doubling back to certain people in order to make sure she’d made her point.

“Do you know the Lord God Jehovah?” she intoned to one hapless individual who was trying to be polite and yet somehow escape the inevitable.

Making her way a little farther down the line she finally met someone who no doubt inspired her headlong flight from the post office.

After asking her question she received a polite reply from a stalwart individual who said “I’m sorry m’am, I worship Satan.” He then began growling and making some rather extraordinary sounds along with demonic laughter.

The door closed behind her and the people in line as well as the postal clerk herself burst out into spontaneous applause and cheering, giving their hearty approval to the performance. Obviously they had never before seen Satan scare an elderly Jehovah’s Witness out of the post office before.

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